Facing failure

We all come to our nemesis, at one point or another, and the question then is, do we let it defeat us or conquer it once and for all. For me, the nemesis has always been, ‘facing failure’……Not because I’ve never failed, but because I’ve never found the strength, the guts, the largeness of heart that it needs to say – I’ve failed this time, but its no big deal, I am still what I am ……….How many of us have allowed ourselves to be judged by our latest exam/interview/assessment result?How many of us live from one goalpost to another, forgetting to ‘live’ in between? Why are results a statement on the person? ‘The person’ is so much else……Life is about who you are and not about how others look at you. Not about what people who don’t matter, think of you………Its about making the best of the moments you have with people who do matter.Somewhere in your life, you come across a defining moment. And I wonder how many of us would wander back the memory lane to a moment of abject defeat rather than wondrous triumph. For its easy to lose yourself in victory but far more worthwhile to ‘find’ yourself in defeat.Just as I was about to get trapped long term into being the typical yuppie with my platter full of the stresses and pressures of modern day living, I got rescued. It was after a long day at work, I’d glared or honked my horn at every other driver trying to get past me in the rush hour traffic, in a bid to get home and ‘get some work done’. But as soon as I found a parking slot, it started to pour down torrentially. Now, if you are in Scotland, rain is something you get used to. But this was more like a tropical downpour. So, there I sat, immobilised, watching as nature took all controls away. And I slowly felt my tensions ebbing away…..the muscles in my body physically relax, and the constant humdrum of noises inside my brain subside. I lost count of the minues I spent just watching. Watching the green of the trees go greener, watching the neighbours’ bubbly cocker spaniel go sprinting past, watching as car after car sped by…..all in a rush to get somewhere, to accomplish something. And then I suddenly realised that my ‘to do’ list had vanished….it wasn’t important anymore..things could wait. I couldn’t be bothered to get to the next career goalpost before everyone else got there..even if it got classed as ‘failure’. Anyone who has been circling in this vortex of deadline after deadline, never ending lists and unfinished jobs will no doubt recognise the sense of entrapment that this brings. Its so easy to lose sight of whats important in life. Ive seen someone very close to me go through a series of events which people would conventionally describe as failures….and manage to smile through all of them, manage to see the funny side, manage to square his shoulders everytime and go for the next challenge. This to me is lasting success. Failure, at times does what a million successes cannot do- redeem your soul.Somehow our generation more than any other feels this compulsion to constantly keep proving ourselves……to anybody and everybody who’d care to notice. I happen to belong to this genre of ‘ambitious career oriented women’ (here’s a category - for those who like to see people neatly slotted) - who always carry, not just a chip but a massive block on their shoulders. Its amazing how rapidly the face of the typical yuppie city corporate culture is changing from the alpha male to super-driven female. So, this goes out to everyone who’s running in a bid to be the rat race topper……..hope you get a chance to redeem yourself before all the important things in life are lost forever. Amen.