So, what label is it that you are wearing?

Dave scrutinized Rohit’s sunglasses for the tenth time and looked as puzzled as ever..where the heck is the label on this?? was his question at last….

Poor Dave has forever been perplexed by the severe ‘lack of labels’ in our life. Why don’t we buy D&G or Esprit. Why no brands around?

Its kind of poignant too, his complete lack of understanding of why we don’t buy designer stuff despite being able to afford it. (Yeah, if we squandered our entire salaries on it, that is).  Come on guys, surely if its in the shops, its meant to be bought? is his constant query. The happiest I have seen him was when he found the Armani shirt he did not need reduced from £850 to £810 and of course rushed forward to buy it.

Its not as if I don’t like shopping.. I’m a seasoned ‘sales’ veteran. I do dabble in a bit of retail therapy now and again. But I like it to be on my own terms.

Maybe its my Indian upbringing. I mean I grew up with my mother and all the ‘aunties’ of the campus constantly comparing notes on how much each had managed to get an item reduced before buying it. Used to be a matter of great pride if you bought the side table at half price or got the best deal on a jar of coffee.

I love haggling too! Pity I cant do that anymore in the UK but I’m unashamedly a fan of this dying art. Still would do it in the ‘galiyaras’ of chandni chowk or Palika Bazaar every time I return home. “Arre…. bechna hai to sahi daam batao.” Where’s the fun in shopping without this?

Dave would be shocked and horrified if I gave him details of our shopping habits.

Personally I think he’s completely wasted, being this upper middle class Brit who has never been to anything other than these mutely pretentious (the more dimly lit the shop, the more expensive it is) shops selling absurdly overpriced stuff….a cotton T-shirt for example with nothing else but a big screaming logo in the front for £210?

I like to think I’m an empowered shopper. (anyone remember surf’s ‘Lalitaji’?) I mean, if you are driven to buying everything that the big retail bosses want you to buy, where does your intelligence or individuality come in to it?

I have had to laugh at the price labels in some of these shops. And at people who’d still buy them simply because they have a particular logo or name printed on them. Designer clothes are like those penis extension cars people buy to announce to the world just in what bracket their earnings lie. They may not look good in them or even feel comfortable wearing them, but as long as there is a name on it….. These happen to be human beings with an inherent lack of confidence in their own persona or presence…..those who look around every time they contemplate anything other than breathing and see what others are doing. What’s ‘hot’ just now, or what’s ‘cool’, depending on which of these phrases is currently more ‘hip’. Ha.

Ive always looked at Victoria Beckam, for example, and wondered if she ever manages to shake out this feeling that the whole world is watching her and is able to step out of her designerwear for long enough to actually enjoy living. The poor dame looks perpetually haggard and distressed. Even for someone who’s made a career out out of wearing D&G couture and not to forget, their mega size sunglasses whether indoors or outdoors, it seems a bit excessive.

Anyway, point of the matter is, I would rather buy a fantastically tailored coat from that little known high street shop than absurd looking designer stuff that I’d be afraid to wear to a party in case I spilled my drink on it.